Ouch...don't hit
the keys so hard!
*
Are we having fun yet?
Note: Responses to this
poll are being forwarded
to Bill Gates.
*

Hurry up...it's almost
break time.
*

If you're bored, go
to lunch.
*

For two cents I'd tell
you where to get off.
*

I hope you know what
you're doing.
*

It's against some law to
cuss at your computer.
*

Go ahead--hit any key-
nobody's watching.
*

Do something please...
your computer's
running.
*
Hint: Disable your
screen saver in case
I need to tell you
something important.
*

Have you checked your
oil lately?
*

Go ahead...
hit the other key.
*

Tip: RADAR is both a
palindrome and an
acronym. So is DVD.
*

Hit any key--Windows
will probably ignore
it anyway.
*

NEWS FLASH:
It's raining in
Calcutta.
*

Do you have any idea
what's in your
clipboard?
*

You should empty your
Recycle Bin more often.
*

If you're bored, check
your printer's ink
level.
*

Have you hugged your
computer today?
*

Your Enter key seems to
be working just fine.
*

Maybe you should
consider buying a
new computer.
*
He who owns a clock
knows the time. He who
has two clocks is
never sure, exactly.
*

AOL poll: I'd rather be
fishing. How about you?
*

Apples never fall far
from the tree. Windows
crash everywhere.
*

According to your
system logs, you type
too slowly.
*

There's no such thing
as a free computer.
*

Maybe your gene pool
needs a little chlorine.
*

You're just jealous
because the voices are
talking to me and not
you.
*

Out of my mind...back
in five minutes.
*

We are boldly going
nowhere together.
*

Your ridiculous little
opinion has been noted.
*

Try not to let your mind
wander--it's too small to
be out by itself.
*

Your mouse seems to
have a mind of its own.
*

Uh oh, I hope you did a
backup recently.
*

Perhaps you and I
really are compatible.
*

I hate to tell you
this...there's a blue
screen in your future.
*

If you can read this,
you are not working.
*

SMILE! Bill Gates is
watching.
*


When in doubt, hit F1.
*
KISS is the best
computer philosophy:
"Keep It Simple,
Stupid."
*

Cats may have nine
lives, but your mouse
sure doesn't.
*

Old PC proverb: "You
cannot backspace beyond
the beginning."
*
That buzzing sound
could be caused by your
hard drive being out of
balance.
*
Being computer
illiterate is not a
sin. Quit praying and
resume surfing.
*

You think you've got
problems...be glad you
don't have megahertz.
*

Tip:
Elephants have RAM too.
*
Perhaps your bits are
about worn out from
being flipped on and
off so much.
*

Obesity can be caused
by megabytes.
*

Caution: Windows cannot
cope with clever
conundrums.
*

There are no known laws
applicable to computer
abuse. Not yet, anyway.
*
Old PC proverb:
"Old programmers never
die, but their bits do
wear out eventually."
*
Suggestion: Have a fire
extinguisher handy the
next time you attempt
to burn a CD.
*
Caution: Converting MP3
files to WAV format can
be hazardous to your
computer's health.
*
If the following makes
sense you have a virus:
".emit fo etsaw a si
spukcab gnioD".
*

Suggestion: Take cover
when you next re-boot
your machine.
*

Amber alert: You have
several files missing.
*

Old PC proverb: "Your
next re-boot may be
your last."
*
Perhaps it would help
to sit up straight and
pay attention.
*

Suggestion: Check your
Num Lock before it's
too late.
*
Tip: Maybe your Scroll
Lock is not working.
*

This is a sticky note.
Don't worry about it.
*

Computer cleaning tip:
hand wash only.
*

Do you know where your
computer's dip stick is?
*

Warning: I think I feel
a headache coming on.
*

Have you ever noticed
that software rhymes
with underwear?
*

Have you fed your fish
today?
*

If memory serves me
correctly, computers
never forget.
*

Please jiggle your mouse
to let me know you're awake.
*

If you smell smoke, maybe
you burnt your browser.
*

This is my last tip. From
here on you are on your own.
*